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The man translator is a humorous guide to filling in the gaps between what he says and what he means.. 

 

 

 

He says....

He means....

I really get into talking about my feelings.

I'll talk about my feelings if it gets me into your pants.

 

I'm not very close to my family.

 

Will you be my mommy?

 

Ikea rocks!

 

I've got huge student loans.

 

I go out with my buddies at least once a week.

 

I'm dating other women.

 

I love lingerie!

 

 Can I try on yours? 

 

I talk to my parents every day.

 

Are you codependent too?

 

 I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now.

 

Wanna do it?

 

 I don't believe in sex before marriage

 

I think I'm gay, but humor me for a few months okay?

 

I'd love for you to meet my mother on our second date.

 

I'm definitely gay, but cover for me for a few months okay?

 

I still really value you as a friend.

 

I still want you for booty calls.

 

My career has always been my top priority

 

I have a two inch penis.

 

The sexiest thing about you is your mind.

 

You're not that attractive but I'll still sleep with you.

 

I work out a lot.

 

I really love my body! Can I show you?

 

This is so special. Let's keep it between us.

 

I'd be totally humiliated if anyone knew we were dating.

 

My pager is the best way to reach me.

 

I have a girlfriend.

 

 "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."

 

Whatever you say....As long as you shut up

 

I need you.

 

My hand is tired.

 

Was it good for you?

 

Were you faking it again?